Been a Few Days

     I know it has been a few days, but I am going to do my best to keep posting at least 3-4 times a week.  Lately all of my drive and motivation has come from stepping back on stage again.  In all honesty it is all I think about.  I am not the type of person who lives with regret, but man I wish I would have stayed the course after my first show.  Its hard to believe that I gained back almost 100lbs and ruined all the hard work that I put in to begin with.  That is in the past but it sure would make this journey back to the stage that much easier.  
     I have my cheat meal just about every Sunday and gotta say that due to my stupidity 2 Sundays ago I actually gained .2lbs.  I know, I know its only .2lbs but still going up after a week of being perfect its very very frustrating.  I normally do not do it, but this week I weighed myself on Monday and I am only up .2lbs after a cheat meal so I did things right this past week.  I weighed myself today (Wednesday) and I am down .2lbs so I know things are ok.  I am going to stay off the scale until my weigh-in on Sunday and I am hoping for about 2lbs down which would put me back in the 2-teens LOL.  My goal is 190-180 by the summer.  And my plan is to take one whole week off from training and the gym July 4th week to head up to the cottage for some down time and fun (I know its months away but still).  I am going to go hard all summer and hopefully step on stage in October as another warmup show.  And then setting my sites on a good run in March/April of 2012.  I keep putting this off and it just adds to my frustrations.  So no more putting this off. 
     All of my workouts have gone well but I feel I need to push myself a little harder.  I have not felt very sore except for leg day which I brutalized myself.  Today was back and it felt great, I love the feeling of my lats stretching and just burning by the end of my workout.  Next week I am going to go back to adding in some bent over rows (my favorite exercise) back into my workout, I have left them off for a few weeks since I seem to want to do them every single workout.  Tomorrow is leg day and I am pretty disappointed I wont be doing squats!!
     I have realized that I need to push 10x harder then just about everyone in order for me to win and be where I want to be my genetics suck, and I have probably done some damage to my metabolism over the last couple of years, but NONE OF THIS will STOP ME!